Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
