Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
