I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
