Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
