I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There's always time for handjobs
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
