It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
