My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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