I'm passing your future prison.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
