I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
