Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
