I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
