Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
