plz talk dirty to me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
