Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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