i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
