he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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