Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
