i don't plan on having that self control this summer
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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