Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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