Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
