oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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