i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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