I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
