but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
