So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
