At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
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