So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
