bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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