If i come over, it means nothing
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
