Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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