i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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