porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
