And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
