I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
