i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
