So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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