Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
