Do you still have your period?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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