She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He had one of those small greek statue penises
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
