Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
