Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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