Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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