My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
