i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
