i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
