the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
