And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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