Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
