dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize