i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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