I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
two words...techno handjob
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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