They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
