You're my little dorito
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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