So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
